When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
