pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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