oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
