My balls are so social today.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
