She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
