please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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