we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
