Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
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So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, beer. Big fan.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.