he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
vagina is talking i cant
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
