I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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