Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen