What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!