Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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(718): View more from New York

walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)

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(713): View more from Texas

this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

(1-713): View more from Texas

well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

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(516): View more from New York

Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen

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