I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
