He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
