"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
