Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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