i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
