so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
