do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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