This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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