I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
