Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
