So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
