Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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