yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
