I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i've created a new STD.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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