just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
