So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize