he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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