Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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