He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
