Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
