we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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