Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
