Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
