His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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