Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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