Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize