He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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