I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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