I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
