There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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