Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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