you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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