I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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