would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
