well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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