U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
