I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
