We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
