I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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