I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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