i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
