After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
