he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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