"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
