He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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