hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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