Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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