i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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