What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
